Saturday, June 03, 2006

Fodor's Guide to Edmonton

Edmonton-Birthplace of Wicked Hot Nazi Chick-Hockey!
My Canic blogger colleagues have done a nice job of introducing Raleigh, the Triangle and Southern culture to the faithful of our playoff opponents. Last round, Sabers fans were treated to a primer on North Carolina Barbeque from DLee. As we get ready to start the Stanley Cup finals, Oiler fans have been greeted warmly by Her Majesty who also went so far as to provide an insiders guide to procuring the cheap liquor Canuck Hooligans need to fuel their little rioting habit. The Penalty Killer also offered some sage Rodney King-type advice on how we can all just get along.

For you Hurricane fans, I've done a little research and put together this little primer on Edmonton. The two most import ingredients in winning an NHL championship...to some...from Buffalo...and the Northeast...and large swaths of Canada...are culture and sports heritage. Call this the attention deficit hockey fan's edition of Fodor's Guide to Edmonton.

Culture
Edmonton is the cultured capital of the Province of Alberta-and what culture they got. More culture than a bucket full of yogurt. Each year, millions of the world's most irritating mime's flock to Edmonton for the annual Street Performers Festival. Yes, a full week of great mime classics like, "Ooh, I'm stuck in a box and can't get out," and don't forget that classic, "Look, I'm climbing a rope!" And of course, we're all looking forward to the ever popular, " I really didn't suck that bad when the Islanders unloaded me."

Sports Heritage
Even before the now storied Edmonton Oilers joined the NHL, a rich hockey tradition thrived in the land of oil fires and Ozone depleting bovine methane. Few hockey historians realize the impact the Edmonton Swastikas (pictured above) had on the fevered mass of Aryan emigre Edmontonians. One nasty bunch of nationalist-socialist ruffian feminists, these gals were. Today, Oilers fans carry on that great swastika tradition with ritual burnings and pillaging. Yes, it's Oilers Uber Alles on Whyte Avenue even today!

2 comments:

sacamano said...

If you want another good ole woman's team from Edmonton, you should check out the Edmonton Grads

CasonBlog said...

Crikey. Looks like the Grads played outdoors. Must have been about a two week season eh?