Friday, April 04, 2008

Traitorous Pyschics and Bitter Newmans

Hi. Memba me?

If fading memory serves, it was these same Florida Panthers who dropped a bit of mathematical elimination on the Canes last season. How interesting that they get to a shot at the spoiler role yet again. To cry baby Jacques Martin and the Kitties, the Carolina Hurricanes are Seinfeld to their Newman. The Canes are sleek, successful and charming. The Kitties are boorish and bitter about their penchant for missing opportunities. The Kitties' venom for the Canes seems to know no bounds and you can bet Olli and the boys would love to break their hideous streak of 15 losses in the big ATM tonight. Should be physical from the puck drop. Look for an Ollie Jokinen hat trick - a goal, a slash/trip and a cheap shot in a scrum.

In a valiant effort to bring fresh to an otherwise dismal season of Panthers coverage, Sun-Sentinel writer Steve Gorton called on a pyschic for her breakdown of the contest:

If you believe in psychic power, they will finally beat the Hurricanes tonight at RBC Center. Mary Beth Wrenn, a professional psychic in Charlotte, N.C. since 1987, envisions it happening."I do feel the spell will be broken," Wrenn said by telephone Thursday.

.....Wrenn, who doesn't know any of the Panthers or of their streak before being told Thursday, nonetheless senses a "negative energy" around the Panthers in Raleigh.

Negative for whom there Mary Beth? That little detail seems somewhat important if we are to bank on pre-game psychic analysis. Oh, by the way....shut up Mary Beth you freaking Charlotte Copperhead. Now is not the time to hate on Raleigh.

In my ideal world of tonight, Florida folds up like a card table a la Tampa and both the Craps and Canes get into the postseason. The Canes "deserve" the spot for excelling despite all the injuries to key players. The Craps deserve it because OV8 and the boys are playing the best hockey in the Eastern Conference right now and they are the feel-good story of this hockey spring.

A Washington/Montreal first round match up sounds mighty tasty to me. Speaking of traitors, wouldn't it be great to have Montreal Gazzette columnist Jack Todd covering a Habs/Craps series? His take on DC and it's hockey fans could incite some epic rage in the District.


  • Solid positional defense

  • No softies from Wardo
  • Soft and quick hands around Vokoun

  • Physical play right away

  • Fall down and draw penalties (oops, that was supposed to be a secret)

1 comment:

Bubba said...

She's a witch! Burn her!